Today, I'm going about a typical day. And throughout all the mundane details of the day, I find myself bothered by the question: God, what am I doing? What am I really doing with this life that I have supposedly given to you? We say we have given our lives to you, but I ask this: If Jesus actually possessed my body, and were actually walking around and living in my body today, what would my day look like? Or better said, what would His day look like? Would our lives match up? Is what I'm doing this very day what You would do with it? Is that not what you meant when you said to follow you I must give up my life? I must deny myself. That my life is no longer mine. That I have died, so that YOU may live in me? God, I think we've missed it. We call ourselves "christians" but our actual lives look nothing like yours. I can no longer fool myself into thinking that I can live a life that looks little different from my unsaved neighbor's, yet consider myself saved. If I am living a life that looks successful and "on the right track" to this world, then I simply can't be living the life Jesus outlined for us. He assurred us that His way of life would make no sense to the world. His way does everything backwards, goes against our "take care of ourselves" instincts, and doesn't put us on the track pointing to success in this world. So if my life isn't causing people to turn their heads and ask what the hec I'm doing, then I'm probably not on that narrow road Jesus was talking about.
As true followers of Christ, we can't just let God reign in areas of our lives that make sense, or that allow us to stay on the path of the life we want to build for ourselves. He wants to control the whole thing. He wants us to literally do our lives according to His way, according to what He said. But instead of taking what Jesus said literally, we live life re-interpretting what what He must have meant when something he said would mess up our lives. "Well you said this God, and I believe that, but this is _____ (fill in the blank)." Isn't this where faith comes in? "God, this doesn't make sense, and this isn't the safest choice, but hey it's what you said to do, so I'll do it anyway, and trust that you know what you're talking about, and that in the end, no matter what happens, you'll take care of me." Maybe that's what God meant when he told us to have faith. To live by faith. That without faith it is impossible to please God.
And this leads me to think that we aren't actually living by faith in God. We are positioning our lives in a way that requires very little faith in God. We have stored up much for ourselves to secure us on a "rainy day". When maybe we should trust God to get us through that "rainy day" and live with open hands... open for God to use us and our resources however he chooses.
What fraction of our life does actually belongs to God? And when did God ever say he would accept just a fraction?
